Extra Bonus Question: Are you disabled?
Question:
Hi, TJ, My driving fear started with tons of anxiety and then became a phobia. I’m now more scared that if I ventured onto the highway or interstate I would hurt myself or someone else. What’s NLP? smiles, Elise
No Longer Playing? Naughty Looting Pilgrim? Non Lost Person? Norma Laurie Parsons? or for me… No Longer Pickled!
Tony — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Hi, TJ, My driving fear started with tons of anxiety and then became a phobia. I’m now more scared that if I ventured onto the highway or interstate I would hurt myself or someone else. What’s NLP? smiles, Elise
Hey Rita, I’ll tell you something. Driving on the highway is not nearly as bad as my mind had blown it up to be. It’s really not bad at all. I don’t like to get on it when it’s busy. I don’t care for that, but otherwise, I’ve found that I don’t have the patience to take the other roads and sit at stop lights all of the time. Especially with gas prices as high as they are. I’m not saying I’m totally cured. I don’t ever get on, when I don’t feel some form of hesitance – usually that strikes me just as I am already ON the entrance ramp and have absolutely NO choice but to get on the highway – but I just have found that what I thought vs. reality is quite different. It’s good practice for me, because the very best way home from work, well, I have to take the highway. I did believe that my fear would actually cause me to wreck, but that was just something my mind had created. I won’t push, because the decision to ever try it or not is yours. It’s just that you KNOW I have suffered from this a long time – and I’m doing what I feared for so long. I know if I can do it, you can. Love, Sally — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Do you think of yourself as being disabled? Is that a label you try to avoid, or is it accurate? Can you still do most or all of the things you could do before you were ill, or are your abilities now somewhat impaired?
I don’t. But the question has made me think a lot. I’m holding down what most normal people would find a stressful job, I’m managing to keep my family intact, despite various pressures over the years, I even sometimes manage to spend a little time on hobbies, though rarely these days. But it takes so much energy to force myself to do those things, I can’t manage to do a lot of other things. I’ve never been able to learn to drive, and when I’m honest with myself I have to accept that I never will. That keeps me and my family away from a lot of places. I don’t go out much, dealing with the crowds all of the working week makes me spend most of my weekend in the quietest places I can find, recovering my strength for the next week. And I’ve been like this since I was 12. My whole life is structured around avoiding things I can’t deal with, and making sure I have a way out when the panic hits, and really has been for nearly as long as I can remember. I think a part of the reason I’ve gotten so little help from pdocs is that I’m already in as good a place as I’ll ever be. That and they tend to get distracted by things I don’t consider a problem. Am I disabled? No one can do everything. I can just do a little less than most. But I can still do more than some. — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Hi, TJ, My driving fear started with tons of anxiety and then became a phobia. I’m now more scared that if I ventured onto the highway or interstate I would hurt myself or someone else. What’s NLP? smiles, Elise
Hi Elise, I don’t understand NLP well enough to explain it
It is something called neuro-linguistic programming, and is supposed to be a way to ‘reprogram’ peoples brains. There is a famous hypnotist called Paul McKenna who had a TV show in the UK last year where he used NLP to cure a lot of people with quite serious phobias. Have you tried the conventional ‘desensitisation’ approach for your phobia? — _TJ_ <TJ_IREL at YAHOO dot IE — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Hi, TJ, I have tried a small amount of desensitization with the help of my therapist. Not much success with it though. I’ll have to check the NLP out OL and see what it says. Thanks. smiles, Elise
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi, TJ, My driving fear started with tons of anxiety and then became a phobia. I’m now more scared that if I ventured onto the highway or interstate I would hurt myself or someone else. What’s NLP? smiles, Elise Hi Elise, I don’t understand NLP well enough to explain it
It is something called neuro-linguistic programming, and is supposed to be a way to ‘reprogram’ peoples brains. There is a famous hypnotist called Paul McKenna who had a TV show in the UK last year where he used NLP to cure a lot of people with quite serious phobias. Have you tried the conventional ‘desensitisation’ approach for your phobia? — _TJ_ <TJ_IREL at YAHOO dot IE — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Hi, TJ, If it weren’t for my driving issues I wouldn’t feel so impaired. But seeing how this affects many arts of my life then yes do feel disabled. I still do many of the things I did before and still avoid thing such as public speaking, avoid being in the limelight, etc. smiles, Elise
Do you think of yourself as being disabled? Is that a label you try to avoid, or is it accurate? Can you still do most or all of the things you could do before you were ill, or are your abilities now somewhat impaired? — _TJ_ <TJ_IREL at YAHOO dot IE — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Do you think of yourself as being disabled? Is that a label you try to avoid, or is it accurate?
Being disabled is one way to describe me, but it’s not everything I am. The doctors told the government that I am disabled so I can stay home and be miserable instead of having to go OUT THERE and be even more miserable. Can you still do most or all of the things you could do before you were ill, or are your abilities now somewhat impaired?
I don’t have the social skills I used to have. I have more fears and suspicions. I can’t dance or work out or go for walks (part of the depression/ obesity/ social phobia thing) I can’t hold down a job. The last few times I tried I broke down in the office. When I couldn’t find work after I got my degree at age 48 I just gave up entirely. I used to work 40 hours a week AND have a social life. I can barely remember what that’s like. Yeah, I’m disabled. I also make really good spaghetti sauce, I know all the words to "American Pie", and I take damn good care of my mom. I don’t wear a badge with any of these things proclaimed on them. They’re all just facts about me. Deirdre — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Thank you, Elise – that means an awful lot to me (hugs) Deirdre Hi, Deirdre, And we love you for the person you are… You truly are a good daughter and don’t ever forget that. smiles, Elise Yeah, I’m disabled. I also make really good spaghetti sauce, I know all the words to "American Pie", and I take damn good care of my mom. I don’t wear a badge with any of these things proclaimed on them. They’re all just facts about me. Deirdre
– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Hi, TJ, My driving fear started with tons of anxiety and then became a phobia. I’m now more scared that if I ventured onto the highway or interstate I would hurt myself or someone else. What’s NLP? smiles, Elise – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi Elise. You seem to have a good, old-fashioned phobia about driving on the highway. My understanding is that this is one of the easier anxiety-type problems to fix if the approach is right. Have you ever explored hypnotherapy or NLP? I am told the results can often be fantastic with these methods. I’m not trying to diminish the severity of your problem as only you really know how bad it is, but it is always good news IMO when you know exactly what you are afraid of. It’s the poor saps who are afraid of everything or nothing that are really bewildered as there is nothing specific for a therapist to attack. Apologies if you have already tried everything and nothing worked
— _TJ_ <TJ_IREL at YAHOO dot IE — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Hi, Deirdre, And we love you for the person you are… You truly are a good daughter and don’t ever forget that. smiles, Elise Yeah, I’m disabled. I also make really good spaghetti sauce, I know all the words to "American Pie", and I take damn good care of my mom. I don’t wear a badge with any of these things proclaimed on them. They’re all just facts about me. Deirdre — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Hi, TJ, If it weren’t for my driving issues I wouldn’t feel so impaired. But seeing how this affects many arts of my life then yes do feel disabled. I still do many of the things I did before and still avoid thing such as public speaking, avoid being in the limelight, etc. smiles, Elise
Hi Elise. You seem to have a good, old-fashioned phobia about driving on the highway. My understanding is that this is one of the easier anxiety-type problems to fix if the approach is right. Have you ever explored hypnotherapy or NLP? I am told the results can often be fantastic with these methods. I’m not trying to diminish the severity of your problem as only you really know how bad it is, but it is always good news IMO when you know exactly what you are afraid of. It’s the poor saps who are afraid of everything or nothing that are really bewildered as there is nothing specific for a therapist to attack. Apologies if you have already tried everything and nothing worked
— _TJ_ <TJ_IREL at YAHOO dot IE — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Do you think of yourself as being disabled? Is that a label you try to avoid, or is it accurate? Can you still do most or all of the things you could do before you were ill, or are your abilities now somewhat impaired? —
No. I feel like my disorders, starting with my "nervous breakdown" (for lack of a better term) have closed some doors, but opened new, better doors for me. I am actually thankful (oh, but I do have my pissy days still, believe me) most of the time for being "ill". I am more empathetic now, I have more patience, more free time, I can stop and smell the roses, I am more creative, and I appreciate the little things. I know what’s important in life and what’s not. If I didn’t have anxiety and panic, I don’t know where I would be now, but I’m betting I’d still be on that treadmill, running in the rat race, learning little. Now let’s all sing…"All we need is love…" Dawn
— The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Do you think of yourself as being disabled? Is that a label you try to avoid, or is it accurate? Can you still do most or all of the things you could do before you were ill, or are your abilities now somewhat impaired? — _TJ_ <TJ_IREL at YAHOO dot IE
I have a disability. I don’t put labels on myself. Sally — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Yes, I am disabled.
On the good side, with the use of meds, I can do a lot of things that I couldn’t before…. On the bad side, the side effects of the meds make me not want to do much, and also make me sleep a lot more than 8 hours a day. I just woke up from a much needed 4 hour nap. If I don’t get enough sleep, it’s a big trigger for more anxiety/panic. If I could do it, I’d trade my anxiety/panic/paranoia and all the meds that go with it for the ability to work 40 hours a week in a heartbeat. Tony I am disabled too. :-( I suppose there are many types of disability. Mine is not the same as a blind person’s, or a wheelchair-bound person’s, or even the same as yours. All I know is I used to be able to do a lot of things ‘normal’ people do without a second thought. And now I can’t. My meds help some, but certainly not a lot. CBT helps a little too, but is far from perfect. I am still in a hole and all the experts I’ve seen are unable to fix me. I am told I have to get used to anxiety and panic as it can’t be completely cured except in very rare cases. I find I can cope with it reasonably well if I am not too depressed. But when I am down I can barely manage my anxiety at all.
Yes, depression is… well, you know. If I talk about it I may send myself into a depression so I don’t talk about it when I’m not depressed. My condition seems to be very atypical too. When I explain my symptoms no one believes me! My pdoc doesn’t believe me. My therapist doesn’t. My GP didn’t.
I’d be looking for a new pdoc, therapist, and GP! People on ASAPM don’t believe me. Everyone thinks they know what is going on inside my body better than I do! But I’m the only person who really knows what I’m going through and that is a very lonely feeling.
Well honestly I haven’t followed enough of your posts to form any opinion. Quite often I have enough to read and reply that I skip many posts. I’m sorry to hear that you feel the people here at asapm think that way. I’ll try to remember to check out your posts in the future. On the subject of sleep. I normally sleep for 10.5 hours a night without meds. No one can tell me why. With meds I can do 14+ hours easy. But I have bad insomnia right now so I’m only getting 6-7. This makes me so tired and anxious all the time
I havn’t had a job for 4 years now. I’m not sure when I’ll work again. I also would give everything I own to be healthy enough to hold down a job like a normal person. I’m just so sick of being this way. I’m so sick of being sick. Anyway, that’s my moan for the day done
Hope you feel better tomorrow, even if it’s just a little bit better. Little steps add up to big ones. Tony — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
If I could do it, I’d trade my anxiety/panic/paranoia and all the meds that go with it for the ability to work 40 hours a week in a heartbeat.
Hell yeah, Tony. It would bring some added side benefits as well. Little things like a CAR, holy crap, I would love to own a car. Or a wife. Gotta have one of those. Or a house, or kids. A TV that I could zone out to, good food to eat. Ah well. I may not have any of these things, but I have my cat, and my computer, and that’s enough for now. Ian — http://sundry.ws/ — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Do you think of yourself as being disabled?
Yeah, and I’ve sort of fought with the people around me for years to get them to see it too. I don’t bother with the idea that it’s a label I can’t shake off. That pops up occasionally, such as on other Usenet groups, where people hold it against me, but in the main, I have to assert to people what I can and cannot do. I think I’ve been disabled all my life, but I was at a much higher level of functioning when I was younger. I think that when I got on SSDI, I started a slow descent. Maybe that’s because I had nothing to do with my time. Certainly everyone around me feels that way. They think if I just *did* things, I would be able to get off disability. Never mind that I’m too damn tired and stressed out to get anything accomplished. I sometimes have to remind people that I didn’t have to go through the courts, or even through an agency, to apply for disability. I took the bus down to Social Security, filled out the forms, and three months later I was given SSDI and SSI. This means, in other words, that people should *leave me alone* when it comes to all this "well, I think if you just did x or y, you would get better", etc. I really just want the world to get off my back, because it’s heavy, and I have a bad back. Not that I’m bitter.
I think part of the problem is that some of my brain functions perfectly well, and I come across as a normie, especially on Usenet. This is because I won’t fake symptoms just to seem consistent. I try my hardest every day to act normal and lead as normal a life as possible, even if that only means getting on the Internet and talking with people. The fact that it then makes me seem normal, and people get on my back, it can’t be helped. Wow. I guess I *am* pretty bitter about all this. It’s been a long long time that I’ve been dealing with all this crap. I never really talk about it, either. Ian — http://sundry.ws/ — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Do you think of yourself as being disabled? Is that a label you try to avoid, or is it accurate? Can you still do most or all of the things you could do before you were ill, or are your abilities now somewhat impaired? — _TJ_ <TJ_IREL at YAHOO dot IE
I don’t. There are times I have difficulties but I have held jobs during the worst times with this panic. It is one of those things, in my mind, that if you have it under control (if it’s possible) then it’s like anything else, like diabetes, HBP, etc. I can’t give in to being disabled although there are times I don’t know how I will do some things I need to do. Vicki — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Do you think of yourself as being disabled? Is that a label you try to avoid, or is it accurate? Can you still do most or all of the things you could do before you were ill, or are your abilities now somewhat impaired? — _TJ_ <TJ_IREL at YAHOO dot IE — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Do you think of yourself as being disabled? Is that a label you try to avoid, or is it accurate? Can you still do most or all of the things you could do before you were ill, or are your abilities now somewhat impaired? — _TJ_ <TJ_IREL at YAHOO dot IE
That’s a very interesting question. In the normal run of things I would say that I have to be classed as disabled in order to fit into the social mold that is our society. So, for example, in order to receive Social Security benefits I need to be clased as disabled. That is a necessity since the job market is closed to me because of my condition, and therefore it isn’t possible for me to receive a regular, life-sustaining income in the society as it has evolved into what it is today. Having said that, if we lived in a different type of society which didn’t require a person to have a job as we know it today in order to receive an income, or in a society where money wasn’t the currency for obtaining the things required to live, then maybe I wouldn’t be classed as disabled. Since most jobs require an amount of travel and an interaction with other people, the two things which anxiety sufferers find most difficult, then that fact makes necessary the classification of the sufferer of this condition as disabled. If jobs didn’t require these two things, then perhaps there would be no need for such a classification. If someone has a fear of heights, for example, you can forgive them for not obtaining employment as a mountain rescuer. But this wouldn’t require them to be classed as disabled as there are many other jobs that they can do. A person with a fear of rats wouldn’t go for employment as a sewer worker. They wouldn’t be classified as disabled. But because of the nature of work in our society, anyone with a fear of leaving their house (agoraphobia) or meeting and interacting with people (social phobia) is classed as disabled simply because it rules out 99% of the work opportunities available. But where’s the difference? In all cases the sufferer is afraid of something. The main difference comes in whether they can do a job or not and contribute to the Government’s taxation scheme. In all cases their abilities are impaired in that they are unable to do something. But is it reasonable to expect everyone to be able to do everything? I doubt it. It seems that the classification of disabled depends on the amount of things that a person cannot do, and also the nature of those things. The line is blurred, however, since I’ve seen people in wheelchairs playing basketball and football. They would be classed as disabled, but are able to do more than some anxiety sufferers in the sports field. Yet the anxiety sufferers may well be able to perform tasks better in the home than the wheelchair-bound people. Which is more disabled? I’ve seen wheelchair users holding down jobs, as well as blind and deaf people: all classed as disabled. But if an anxiety sufferer holds down a job, are they still disabled? Not according to our Social Security system, because the disability can’t be seen. So no, I don’t see myself as disabled. That’s merely a classification that I have to use in order to fit into the current social system. Everyone is a person, born equal, but different. If that difference is a slight change in how the brain works, so what? No – not disabled, merely developed in a particular way. Steve. — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Do you think of yourself as being disabled? Is that a label you try to avoid, or is it accurate? Can you still do most or all of the things you could do before you were ill, or are your abilities now somewhat impaired?
Yes, I am disabled.
On the good side, with the use of meds, I can do a lot of things that I couldn’t before…. On the bad side, the side effects of the meds make me not want to do much, and also make me sleep a lot more than 8 hours a day. I just woke up from a much needed 4 hour nap. If I don’t get enough sleep, it’s a big trigger for more anxiety/panic. If I could do it, I’d trade my anxiety/panic/paranoia and all the meds that go with it for the ability to work 40 hours a week in a heartbeat. Tony — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Yes, I am disabled.
On the good side, with the use of meds, I can do a lot of things that I couldn’t before…. On the bad side, the side effects of the meds make me not want to do much, and also make me sleep a lot more than 8 hours a day. I just woke up from a much needed 4 hour nap. If I don’t get enough sleep, it’s a big trigger for more anxiety/panic. If I could do it, I’d trade my anxiety/panic/paranoia and all the meds that go with it for the ability to work 40 hours a week in a heartbeat. Tony
I am disabled too. :-( I suppose there are many types of disability. Mine is not the same as a blind person’s, or a wheelchair-bound person’s, or even the same as yours. All I know is I used to be able to do a lot of things ‘normal’ people do without a second thought. And now I can’t. My meds help some, but certainly not a lot. CBT helps a little too, but is far from perfect. I am still in a hole and all the experts I’ve seen are unable to fix me. I am told I have to get used to anxiety and panic as it can’t be completely cured except in very rare cases. I find I can cope with it reasonably well if I am not too depressed. But when I am down I can barely manage my anxiety at all. My condition seems to be very atypical too. When I explain my symptoms no one believes me! My pdoc doesn’t believe me. My therapist doesn’t. My GP didn’t. People on ASAPM don’t believe me. Everyone thinks they know what is going on inside my body better than I do! But I’m the only person who really knows what I’m going through and that is a very lonely feeling. On the subject of sleep. I normally sleep for 10.5 hours a night without meds. No one can tell me why. With meds I can do 14+ hours easy. But I have bad insomnia right now so I’m only getting 6-7. This makes me so tired and anxious all the time
I havn’t had a job for 4 years now. I’m not sure when I’ll work again. I also would give everything I own to be healthy enough to hold down a job like a normal person. I’m just so sick of being this way. I’m so sick of being sick. Anyway, that’s my moan for the day done
— _TJ_ <TJ_IREL at YAHOO dot IE — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm